[night phoenix]

alright, reports, essays, call 'em what u may, but we all get 'em. On this thread, u can post ur essay and get opinions from others. I'll start. Here's my fiction story... (rough draft, ill edit it later)


My Last Accounts



Entry 1

If you are reading this, then
you too have escaped. I am writing this to all who have overcome their delusion
and entered the true reality. The year is 2013. You may have questions, so I
shall start at the beginning.


Well, let’s see, it was a Monday…


…

*Click*
the sound of a radio came on.


“If you’re looking for a good car-,” *click* my alarm
clock turned off.


I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes and go back to
bed, but to no avail. The alarm had set off a chain reaction that forced me to
start the day, no matter how tired I was.


“Andrew, wake up, its 6:45. You’re gonna be late for school.”

“Ok mom.”


I got dressed, hurried down stairs and ate my cereal and
did anything else in my normal routine. But nothing could have prepared me for
this non-normal day.


I arrived at school and walked out of the car.

“Bye mom, love you,” and started to walk away.


“Andrew Clevis, give me a good-bye kiss!”


“Mom! What? ...No, my friends are watching! I’m 14,
trying to get through 8th grade with my dignity intact!”

She gave me “the look,” a look seemingly all mothers has.
After rolling my eyes, I gave in.


After I approached my classmates, they began making
kissing sounds at me. I almost lost control and punched them, but I was too
mature. “It’ll catch up with them at some point” It always had…always. I wonder
why?


First periods finished, I ate lunch and went out for
recess. We started to play football. We already had preset teams.


“Set…hike!”
I ran out around Jimmy, our quarterback, as was the play. I looked back to see where the ball was
going. I ran to catch up with it. I quickly captured the ball and ran for the
end zone. Thirty yards to go, 20, 10, I
ran around the other team’s last defense and dived into the end zone.
Touchdown! I started to do a little victory dance.


“And
the crowd goes wild! *whispers loudly* Ahh, ahh!”


I
looked back at my teammates, but, they were frozen! Not like temperature wise,
but they weren’t moving, just standing still. I looked around. Everything was
standing still! Then my sight “shuttered,” like when the TV goes fuzzy before
it turns into static. Wait, static? Still life? What is going on?! Suddenly, a
blue circular “field” appeared before me, the edge was wavy.

“Whuhuh?
I stuck out my hand to touch it, probably not my best idea. Nothing happened,
except my hand disappeared into the field. “…maybe it’s a portal…?” I pulled my
hand back. Seemed fine. I tried to move my fingers, all worked.

Suddenly,
a hand came out of the portal and grabbed mine.

“Helllllp!
Oh my goooooooooosh! Ahhhhh!”


Entry 2

“Where
am I?” a quick hand came over my mouth. Its partner drew to its owner’s lips to
say “quiet.”[/font]

<Shhh.
They’ll here you.>


<Where
did that come from?> I thought to myself.

<Me.>

<You
can read my thoughts?!> That freaked me out a bit.


<And
you, mine. My name is Samane. I brought you out of your imprisonment.>

<Huh?>
that didn’t make any sense.

<You asked where you are, look around. Where do you think?>

I looked at where we were standing. It was a grate-like platform. I looked behind
me. I saw an egg-shaped pod-like structure about 7 and half feet tall made of a
metal-like material. The room was huge, filled infinitely with these “pods.”<Wait,
did I come from there?!>

<Yes.>

<Alright, start talking, or thinking. You know what I mean!>


<Well, nothing you know is real.>

<What?! Nothing!? Are you serious? What do you mean?>[/font][/b]


<Well, your name is Andrew, and you do experience emotion.>

<Anything else?>


<It is true people only use about 10 or 15% of their brain capacity. …Because the
rest is controlled.>


<Whoa! How?>


<By them.> Samane pointed towards the upper part of the wall. A room filled with
glowing spheres moved around.


<Those
are in truth, beings. We refer to them as “The Bright.” They control the other
75% of your brain, well not control, but greatly influence your thoughts. They
use a headgear that sends images in your brain creating a reality in which they
perform tests and how we would respond to situations. This all happens while
you’re in an “unconscious-like” state. And we can’t talk otherwise they’ll here
us. They have amazing hearing, although they don’t have ears, so we wonder how.>
She made a small laugh.

I began to process this for a
minute. This was all so much to take in.

<What about God? Is He real?>

<Well, no one knows for sure, but one day we may find out. You are unique though. You
control 51% of your brain, which is what made it possible for me to bring you
to reality. It doesn’t make you any smarter, your brain is just…different.>

I started to think. This sorta made sense. I’ve always had an uneasy feeling,
this could be real. But, no, I’m dreaming, right? No, this was real. Everything
I had ever known a lie. How could this be?

<I’m not dreaming, am I?>

She shook her head, waving her shoulder-length black her about.

A baby’s cry came from far off. A door opened and one of The Bright came in with a floating device holding a baby. The Bright led the baby to a pod…

<No! They’re gonna get another! We have to help!>

Samane grasped my shoulder. <If we get caught, then no one can be saved. Calm down. It hurts me just as much. I’ve seen it before.> Her hazel eyes looked distant and sad.

<Do you remember anything from when you were a baby?>

It was my turn to shake my head.


She looked away. <They wipe your memory after you’re able to talk.>


<That’s just not right, what happens to the parents?>

<No
one knows.>


Hey,
a man once told me this could be real. Well, we could all be trapped in pods. I
kept that in the back of my head ever since then. His name was Brian LeMod,
know someone like that?


<Yes.
He’s our leader. I assume he contacted you somehow.>

<Oh,
that seems likely.>


I took
a long look at Samane for the first time and realized she had wings! Alright,
this is getting weird. I felt my back and noticed I had them too!


<We
have wings?!>


<Yeah,
took you long enough to figure it out. Try to flap ‘em once.>


I
tried. It was amazing! I had always wanted to be able to fly. I have even
dreamed about it. They felt like arms and moved like them, but imagine how your
fingers feel when you have a really long fingernail, that’s how feathers feel.
Multiple, “fingernails” joined to make wings. I was scared to attempt flying in
fear of the light beings noticing me.

I slid down and sat.


<What
now?>


<Well,
we’re leading a resistance.>

<Really,
how?>


<Well,
we’re gathering recruits, want to join?>


<Yes,
this isn’t right. Was it always like this?>


<…We
don’t know, but it won’t always be
like this. I promise you. We’re gonna defeat them. But first, we have to get
out of here.>


<…Alright,
I’m in. But how do we get out?>

<See
this here?> she grasped her belt.


<Yeah…?>


<I
can transport us outta here with the push of this button.>


<That
is awesome.>


I came over to her
side of the grate to get a better look at the belt, our backs faced the edge. But
disaster struck and I lost my footing and fell off.


“Ahh!” I screamed. Oh no, screamed!
I quickly remembered The Bright’s amazing hearing and wondered how they could
here if they don’t have ears. The thought quickly fleeted my head as I
continued to fall.


I quickly realized I had wings and attempted to use them.
After a few frantic flaps, I figured it out and quickly regained my perch on
the grate. But it was too late.

Alarms began to ring. The Bright began to appear all
around us. I soon realized that they were transporting themselves around us.


<They can transport?! What now?!>

Samane shrugged.


*Grunt* “What now?”


TO
BE CONTINUED. . .

---

Basically, the reality u believe is real, is in fact not. All the people u know are in fact projection thoughts on ur mind that make u wonder if ANYONE is real.

---

Some one else?

---

Well then, apparently I'm the only one who wants to post on this! any questions or comments?

[Lucius]

Don't triple post... people will see it eventually.... and it's pretty good.

[night phoenix]

sorry bout that

[DarkVoid]

Not bad, even tho i didn't read all of it, just skimmed it

[orboknown]

ummm...the op implies that this is about school work.
if so, i think we shouldn't be reviewing it for you.

[night phoenix]

Well, its like this, imagine u wrote a report, or story, and u want people to read it, to get opinions on it. Unfortunately, ur scared of showing someone at school cuz they may make fun of it, or they dont have time to read it. This is for peole we dont know much giving honest opinions on our reports so we can make them better, ok?

[Viperianw]

nice, but too many grammar errors.

[night phoenix]

What grammar errors? plz tell so I can correct them!
Anyway, we gotta do a personal experience paper too, opinions?
How to Dig Your Own Grave

After going the famous Kohler Andre Park for so many years of my life, I never expected that a near disaster could occur in this tranquil park. At Kohler Andre, most people swim, or build sand castles, or even sun bathe, but not me. I like to dig holes. Holes deep enough I can fit in and still make deeper. Strangely enough, nature feels that is must do something each year to make it more difficult to dig my hole. Last year, it was so cold, we had to wear sweatshirts, and the beach was covered with hundreds, if not thousands of dead fish! The reoccurring question is “What is going to happen this year?”
On the last day of summer vacation, my mom and I had planned to go to Kohler Andre, which she continues to call “Terry Andre.” My mom packed a lunch and asked if I wanted to use anything to dig with. I said I didn’t need anything but my bear hands, which is true.
We loaded up the car and started the hour or so drive up there. Within 10 minutes, I was asleep and continued to stay asleep until we arrived. We paid at the gate and drove to the beach. My mom had trouble finding it so we drove for an extra 5 minutes. Finally, arriving at the beach, I quickly unloaded my stuff, a blanket, and ran onto the beach. This beach has the smoothest and most sand of any beach I have been to. I put my blanket down in the middle of the beach and looked for a proper excavation site. Being too close to the water would result in a flooded hole too quickly. I noticed no dead fish and no cold weather. I thought to myself, “Huh, free sailing from here on.” I was thoroughly mistaken.
A small black fly landed on me. Naturally, I paid not much attention to it. When it started to bite, I quickly swatted at it, to no avail. The fly moved at the last possible second before my hand struck, resulting in a sore arm and a mocking fly. Thinking that was all, I began to start my hole, hands a blazing.
Within the first minute, I had struck darker sand, breaching through the outer, lighter layer. Another fly had appeared on my fly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the first fly, with another partner. Having to stop my digging, I swatted at the flies, again, narrowly missing. They flew away and landed on my other arm. In retrospect, I suppose it is funny, but at the time, more and more bites began to haunt me. Biting and pinching sensations were attacking my foot. Trying to man through it, I continued to dig. About a foot in, I started to round the edges to make an impressive cylindrical shape.
Then, out of nowhere, a little girl was screaming at the top of her lungs with a piercing cry, “SOMETHING BIT ME!” Wondering what it was, but not caring enough to go and look, I continued to dig.
Again, more biting occurred on my feet. Having had enough of that, I quickly thought of covering my legs with sand. It had to be lots of sand so my body wouldn’t become top heavy when my hole began to get deeper. I had a proud look on myself with my pleased genius and continued to dig.
It had been an hour or so, and my hole was at least one and a half to two feet deep. Deciding I would take a lunch break, I washed off my hands in the water and came to eat lunch. Sand had got into the ham and buns, making them true sandwiches. They tasted very gritty.
Trying to continue my digging, ignoring mean flies and annoying screaming girl, “It’s white! Get it off! Get it off!” I rebuilt my leg protection, and continued. Within 10 minuets, I had struck water, the bottom was extremely wet.
“Wow, congratulations Nick, you’re 20 feet away from the water,” a mocking sarcastic voice inside told me. More biting. Being so enraged, I went on a swatting spree, unbelievingly, not hitting a single fly!
“Well played flies, well played.”
I asked my mom if she was experiencing this too. To my surprise, she said no! Within 20 minutes though, she began to say “Ow!” more times than I can count.
My hole was now at least 3 feet deep, 1 foot wide. I tried fitting into it in the fetal position, but to no avail, so I just stood up in it instead. After a half hour more of digging, I tried to go in the water, but it was so unbelievably cold, I quickly ran back to my hole.
More fly bites covered me, giving me more reason to make flies number one on my most despised animals list. Having another brilliant idea, I covered my arms with wet sand. Deciding that my hole was big enough to fit in, I again tried the fetal position. Slowly slipping into my hole, I felt confident I could fit. When I tried to get out, I realized I couldn’t! I laughed a little as my mom came over. After a quick assessment of the situation, we started to dig myself out. I had no reason to panic. My head and much of my body were completely out of the ground, so I could still breathe. The worst thing to do in a situation like this is panic, but the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. The whole thing was very humorous to me. My arms were the only useful parts of me now as we dug the front so I could lift out my legs. That had not worked. Trying the back side, also had failed. I tried lifting my body out, but my butt was stuck and my body was curved so I could not escape. The hole was rounded at the base, like the bottom of a thermometer.
“Mom, this isn’t working.”
“Well we have to keep trying,” she explained.

So we did, and after 15 minutes, I had escaped my own grave. I washed off, packed up, and got ready to go home to explain to my dad a very funny day at the beach. Now I know to think before I do, and look before I leap. So now the question remains, “What will happen next year?”

[night phoenix]

Now, if u post on this, either give opinion, or post a report of ur own!

[Cpt. Obvious]

read it, didn't like it, but that doesn't mean it was bad.
actually never really had reports or essays, I had one major one in my final year at college and that's about all I still remember

[night phoenix]

Oh, well then *makes embarrassed look on face and rubs back of the neck* what should I do to make it better?

[xXTheThrillXx]

Good intro. will be a great story.

[Dexter Singh]

*facedesk* i dont have the time to read all that

[night phoenix]

*Brings icepack for face after lots of laughing* sorry, 6 pages in micro. word *shrugs to apologize*

[ShockZekrom]

Love your math. 75+15=90
75+10=85.
Not 100.

[Raith]

I refuse to look at How to Dig Your Own Grave until you at least separate your paragraphs, dialogue, etc. It is currently a towering wall of text.

[night phoenix]

PART 3! (so far )

Entry 3

The bright began
to fire repeating beams of light, just narrowly missing me. One of them
actually did hit me, causing a searing pain in my left wing. From the smoke and
burnt feathers, I realized these were lasers being fired and we needed to leave.


<PUSH THE
BUTTON!> I yelled, in my mind.


<Stand
close!>


*Click*


A fuzzy feeling
began to overcome me. I looked at my hands; they were vibrating at a remarkable
speed. Suddenly, my hands began to loose mass, making my fingers lose their
length. My entire arm disintegrated. I closed my eyes as the rest of my body
began to disintegrate as well.


When I opened my
eyes, I realized the fuzzy feeling was due to my molecules being transported. I
felt a little woozy.


“Yeah that’ll
happen to you.”


I made a surprised
look on my face, as if to say “You’re talking?!”


“…What do you-
Oh, I get it, don’t worry, they can’t here us, were too far away, you can talk,
just don’t scream like you did back there.” She chuckled to herself.


I made a blunt
look. “I didn’t scream, I yelled at a high pitch.”


She laughed
again, a beautiful, ringing laugh. She swayed her black hair slowly as she
shook her head in a state of “disbelief.” A feeling emerged in my heart, a
strange, warm feeling.


“Alright, welcome
to boot camp. I see your wing is a little damaged, let’s go get that fixed up.”
She motioned me to follow her.


I began to look
around. The camp was in a large clearing in a forest. I suspect on a mountain
because I had a pretty good view of the surrounding area. Apparently pines are
real too, along with mountains and a gentle trickling stream surrounding the
side of the camp. Samane led me to an opening in the mountain. I followed in.
The inner mountain was amazing! We had to pass by a security guard as we walked
in; Samane addressed him with a wave. There was candle lighting surrounding
every few feet of mountain inside, giving off quite a glow. Many tents were
posted up around the mountain innards filled with many winged people.


“Welcome to the
camp inside the mountain. This is where we live, outside is the training
facility.” Her arms were outstretched to show the camp and its immense size.

[night phoenix]

Sorry for the triple post, yeah, Andrew likes Samane.

[ShockZekrom]

16 of 22 posts are yours.
Dude, lay off.
If people want to read it they will. But don't keep commenting like that.
This coming from your trusty cousin.

[night phoenix]

Now, if u post on this, either give opinion, or post a report of ur own!

To further explain this, ask questions to make my reports better please.

[ShockZekrom]

I refuse to look at How to Dig Your Own Grave until you at least separate your paragraphs, dialogue, etc. It is currently a towering wall of text.

True dat, bruh.

[night phoenix]

How to dig ur own grave on this thread is sooo much different than my final version, but ima not gonna post it, no point

[night phoenix]

alright, got an A- on How to Dig ur Own grave, so I reallyneed help on my last accounts.

[night phoenix]

Here:


Entry
3





Alright, quick
recap; humans have been under mental influence for many years and no one knows
how long. Samane and I are cornered by
The Bright, the beings responsible for the enslavement of mankind.


The bright began
to fire repeating beams of light, just narrowly missing me. One of them
actually did hit me, causing a searing pain in my left wing. From the smoke and
burnt feathers, I realized these were lasers being fired and we needed to
leave.


<PUSH THE
BUTTON!> I yelled, in my mind.


<Stand
close!>


*Click*


A fuzzy feeling
began to overcome me. I looked at my hands; they were vibrating at a remarkable
speed. Suddenly, my hands began to loose mass, making my fingers lose their
length. My entire arm disintegrated. I closed my eyes as the rest of my body
began to disintegrate as well.


When I opened my
eyes, I realized the fuzzy feeling was due to my molecules being transported. I
felt a little woozy.


“Yeah that’ll
happen to you.”


I made a
surprised look on my face, as if to say “You’re talking?!”


“…What do you-
Oh, I get it, don’t worry, they can’t here us, were too far away, you can talk,
just don’t scream like you did back there.” She chuckled to herself.


I made a blunt
look. “I didn’t scream, I yelled at a high pitch.”


She laughed
again, a beautiful, ringing laugh. She swayed her black hair slowly as she
shook her head in a state of “disbelief.” A feeling emerged in my heart, a
strange, warm feeling.


“Alright, welcome
to boot camp. I see your wing is a little damaged, let’s go get that fixed up.”
She motioned me to follow her.


I began to look
around. The camp was in a large clearing in a forest. I suspect on a mountain
because I had a pretty good view of the surrounding area. Apparently pines are
real too, along with mountains and a gentle trickling stream surrounding the
side of the camp. Samane led me to an opening in the mountain. I followed in.
The inner mountain was amazing! We had to pass by a security guard as we walked
in; Samane addressed him with a wave. There was candle lighting surrounding
every few feet of mountain inside, giving off quite a glow. Many tents were
posted up around the mountain innards filled with many winged people.


“Welcome to the
camp inside the mountain. This is where we live, outside is the training
facility.” Her arms were outstretched to show the camp and its immense size.


“Impressive, so,
how are we gonna defeat The Bright? How did they even take over the world?”


“Well…”
she was suddenly cut off.


Alarms
began to ring. People started run.


“Security
breach! The Bright are coming!” A loud voice rang out.


“Oh
crud! What now?” I asked.


<Do
not be alarmed. I’m a friend.>


Everyone
looked around. Who was that?


A
large orb of light appeared through the entrance to the mountain.


<I
must speak with your leader.>


“Pffft.
Yeah right, and why would we do that?” someone retorted.


<Because
I don’t want all this “human testing,” I want peace.>


“And
why should we believe that?” the same person questioned.


“Wait,”
an assertive voice shot across the inside of the mountain.


All
eyes turned on a single man. He stood up, his muscles rippling as hi back
straightened, a serious expression drew across his face. He spoke again.


“We
need his…or its… assistance, an inside man so to speak.”


“But
Brian…”


A
quick hand rose. Everyone grew silent.


“Alright,”
I began, “I’m new here, but trusting our enemy...Yeah, doesn’t seem like a good
idea.”


Everyone
gasped.


I
thought for a moment, <Wait...Brian? Oh shoot!>


“…That’s the
leader, isn’t he?


Samane
nodded slowly.


“Oops,
sorry, was…”


His
stern expression softened. “Lad, you remind me of myself. No hard feelings. But
you must understand that this is a war, and all help is wanted.”


“Agreed,
but…from the enemy?”


“Yes,”
he gave a one word answer, but the expression on his face said a thousand. I
understood.

. . . .

The sun began to
set and disappear behind the ever growing pines and night had risen with the
moon.


*Yawn*
“Alright, time to go sleep…somewhere. Where do I sleep, Samane?”


“Here,”
she gestured towards a hammock.


I
tried to climb onto it, but kept on falling off. Samane’s bell-like laughter came again. I
blushed and finally succeeded in lying down and falling asleep.

[Cpt. Obvious]

Do you have a lot of free time?

[ShockZekrom]

you use "enter" key too often. Don't double-space everything, it just becomes monstrous and overwhelming. Other than that, not bad. One more thing: Make a paragraph longer than three sentences.
Also, are we reviewing your reports and just yours? In an earlier post, you said this was "To make your reports better." I'm confused.

[night phoenix]

you use "enter" key too often. Don't double-space everything, it just becomes monstrous and overwhelming. Other than that, not bad. One more thing: Make a paragraph longer than three sentences.
Also, are we reviewing your reports and just yours? In an earlier post, you said this was "To make your reports better." I'm confused.

*Rolls eyes* type on word, then copy and paste, lines all messed up, sorry