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Kain's Quest: Chapter 2- Darck's Duseep
#1
Recap
Kain fought against Pein in the academy practical with his new monster Nekitten but lost to Pein's Masgras. He also made a new friend, Serene.

Chapter 2: Darck's Duseep
After lesson Kain headed home to the Central Plains and while walking a short dark haired kid jumped put of the bushes and stood in front of Kain.
"Dude, watch it will you!" said Kain aggressively towards the kid.
"No, YOU better watch cause you dont know who your messing with! I am Darck, leader of the legendary Team Darck Kids!" replied Darck staring straight into Kain's eyes.
"Never heard of them."
"Well you should have we will be the best and we will be unbeatable!" cried Darck with courage "I challenge you to a battle!"
"Okay then....." groaned Kain before reaching to his jackets pocket and getting out Nekitten's box.
"Go Duseep!" called out Darck throwing the monster box into the air. The monster box hit the ground and out came a unusual coloured Duseep, instead of the regular red striped duseep came a blue striped and was very peculiar as there was no known monster mutations of this kind.
"Wow! Whats up with duseep?" questioned Kain looking closly at the duseep.
"I dont know i just had it."
"Dont you mean got it?" corrected Kain then releasing Nekitten. "Go Nekitten!" Nekitten leaped out in the air landing on all four legs then attempting to roar and only letting out a lowly, cute 'Meow'.
"Duseep use Hidden Punch!" instructed Darck confidently. As hidden punch was a very accurate move it hit straight away without fail making Nekitten a bit hurt but before anything could be said or done Kain countered:
"Nekitten use Tear!" Nekitten reacted instantly charging in for Duseep and it caused a Critical Hit! Duseep was disorientated after the stike and felt a bit dizzy a few seconds later THUD! Duseep fell to the ground and was unable to continue fighting. "Wow Nekitten that was Epic!" declared Kain picking Nekitten up and holding him in his arms.
Meanwhile on the other side the short kid was crying his eyes out in sadness. "I wont ever be able to be able to go against the strong battlers like this" said Darck while crying. He returned Duseep and ran back into the bushes he came from.


Sorry this chapter is short...i hope next one will be longer anyway thanks for reading and leave a comment and a rating please?
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#2
Eh the main character sounds like a bully to me
Before you judge me. look at yourself .Sleepy
#3
He's no bully have you read chapter 1 and the intro?
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#4
Nope but you insisted on reading this one so yeah
Before you judge me. look at yourself .Sleepy
#5
length will be important. you need more lead-up and follow up.

also rofl about Darck. that was funny.
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
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#6
i know i just wanted to get the story going a bit ill make the next one longer by far im sure its just that battles are supposed to be long but its just the beginning so it'll get longer the further i get
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#7
(2011-08-11, 08:35 PM)ItsHowIRoll Wrote: i know i just wanted to get the story going a bit ill make the next one longer by far im sure its just that battles are supposed to be long but its just the beginning so it'll get longer the further i get

Don't stop roll. you can do this.
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
[Image: kSLYA.png]
#8
im trying to make the begining chapters an intrduction to some of the recurring characters throughout the story as this was for Darck and chapter 1 was for Pein Serene The prof and Deidara. i might add you in the next few ones
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#9
Write me in as Austin Pratt if you do please. Nitsua/Nitz X [abreveation of nitsua xepher]

Nitsua is used in all/most of my fanfiction and I never normally uh "look kindly" on others using him.

"all Characters carry part of ur. when others use them, its like they stole part of me. "
-Anne Rice if im not wrong.
[its taboo to write anne rice fanfiction, and some sites dont even allow you to release it.]

so... Dont steal part of my soul. i have freaken Rainbow Dash for my avvy, i need as much of my soul as i can get lol.


[this took forever on the wii]
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
[Image: kSLYA.png]
#10
lol kk ik wii's a pain thats u i only use it online for Cod5 ....i use ipod touch for other things if my laptop is not around
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#11
(2011-08-11, 10:44 PM)ItsHowIRoll Wrote: lol kk ik wii's a pain thats u i only use it online for Cod5 ....i use ipod touch for other things if my laptop is not around

same, exceptbi need to fis my touch's wifi.
thank you for resecting my wishes.
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
[Image: kSLYA.png]
#12
can u give me a rough idea how much a chapter must be?
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#13
my example

Google/www.fanfiction.net/video games/ [enable Rated M] search characters pichu and eevee/ select "I Am Nitsua"

Thats about how long I like to keep things. There is prolly only one chapter up because I'm working on the final print copy right now.

[or if you are lazy, i like 2500-5 or 6000 words a chapter.
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
[Image: kSLYA.png]
#14
Nice job roll.Can i get a cameo in here?
Quote: Do you hear the Whisper Men The Whisper Men are near
If you hear the Whisper Men then turn away your ears
Do not hear the Whisper Men whatever else you do
For once you've heard the Whisper Men they'll stop. And look at you.
#15
yeah sure ummm any monsters u want?
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#16
Your story,your choice roll.I don't really care either way.
Quote: Do you hear the Whisper Men The Whisper Men are near
If you hear the Whisper Men then turn away your ears
Do not hear the Whisper Men whatever else you do
For once you've heard the Whisper Men they'll stop. And look at you.
#17
Very interesting
[Image: Zelda.jpg]"Don't mess with Treason. Team Chrono~Private 1st Class

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