Internal Struggle

Snoozn · 2011-11-12, 04:55 AM

In high school I had to write a poem for a class. My teacher sent it to a publisher and it ended up being published. I own the copywrite.

Internal Struggle

Spaceships falling from the sky,
Aliens after you and I.
When they find us, you will see,
The pain they cause will make you scream.

So if you must, run and hide,
But sooner or later, you, they will find.
Instead, I suggest, stand up and fight,
Battling them with all your might.

Be proud you gave your best.
That you didn't go running like the rest,
Since this way we had a chance
To preserve our future and save our past.

So if I shall fall in the night.
I know I wasn't a coward who took off in fright.
But even in our bleakest hour of terror.
At least I know I could look in a mirror.

I just wanted to share this with everyone. Quanto said this would be the best place to post it.

Thank you,
Snoozn

Ghost · 2011-11-12, 06:39 AM

This sounds pretty cool.

Lamb · 2011-11-12, 07:08 PM

Brilliant poem, I love it! Awesome job!

orboknown · 2011-11-14, 06:29 PM

nice job snoozn.

Pein · 2011-11-14, 10:18 PM

outstanding poem snoozn

Snoozn · 2011-11-15, 05:46 PM

Thank you everyone. Smile

eureka7 · 2012-03-20, 03:21 AM

Very good Poem!!!
I liked it

Dexter Singh · 2012-04-07, 11:10 PM

nice poem loved it

Ramza_X · 2012-05-10, 07:38 AM

Wow, what a nice poem!

SweeneyS · 2012-05-17, 03:34 PM

This is such an awesome poem! Many thanks for such a nice post, I really had some fun while I was reading it!

_____________
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Tariel · 2012-05-27, 06:43 PM

Awesome poem! I'm an author myself. :3 Maybe I'll post some of my work some day...

Great work! ^.^

**Mournival** · 2012-07-10, 12:08 AM

Im interested in your use of the word "falling" to indicate the movement of the alien spacecraft. Its a bit misleading, as falling implies uncontrolled descent. Perhaps running from them is not such a bad choice? You can't fight gravity.

Psywar · 2012-07-10, 01:07 AM

(2012-07-10, 12:08 AM)Mournival Wrote: Im interested in your use of the word "falling" to indicate the movement of the alien spacecraft. Its a bit misleading, as falling implies uncontrolled descent. Perhaps running from them is not such a bad choice? You can't fight gravity.

Mourn, Haven't you watched "Battle, Los Angelos" yet?

ArcticRose · 2012-10-08, 06:01 PM

8D ooh~ I like it! Nice job.

orboknown · 2012-10-11, 05:35 PM

you know it's good when it gets replies a year later

silverwhite · 2013-02-19, 03:14 PM

Very good poem, well written and rhythmic. Even if the first part sounds like it came from a video game. I have never actually heard a poem about aliens before so it is new and creative. Although Internal Struggle does not really match the feeling or view I get from the poem. I get a more Mass Effect look where you are cornered and have to battle and as a commander you must lead others to victory and still look at yourself afterwards and know you did the right thing.

Just an opinion though.

teamrocket7 · 2013-10-21, 10:15 PM

huh? odd poem.

**ch17175** · 2013-10-21, 11:27 PM

That was beautiful y_y make more! Big Grin

Nitz_X · 2013-10-22, 12:24 AM

(2012-10-11, 05:35 PM)orboknown Wrote: you know it's good when it gets replies a year later

And every year after that.

**ch17175** · 2013-10-22, 01:08 AM

lol

Pyro Piglet · 2013-10-22, 05:22 AM

Very nice job Snoozn Wink

Next year, it shall be replied to once again...

TimeTraveler · 2013-10-22, 05:27 AM

(2011-11-12, 04:55 AM)Snoozn Wrote: In high school I had to write a poem for a class. My teacher sent it to a publisher and it ended up being published. I own the copywrite.

Not bad. This poem is decent enough. It would be nice if it was expanded into a short story.

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