[SkyRock]

Ryan is full of spirit to train his Floatorm but it keeps on disobeying him.
”Come on Floatorm! You need to be strong!” Ryan shouts at Floatorm angrily.
*Floatorm used Water Spray on Ryan with full force*
Ryan said "Urrg oh come on you foolish penguin” *kicks stone into bush*
Dragove: ”Grrrrrr” *charges Super Beam*
“ Quick Floatorm! Run for your life!!!!”Ryan exclaims as he begins to run with Floatorm
They reach a small town near a shore called Bamboo Coast.
The Dragrove followed them but a mysterious powerful force shot from a Monster from the sky. The owner, it was no other than Ultimate Champion, and Ryan's dad, Jared!
"Quick Hydevil! Bane Claw!!"
Dragove: "Grrrr"
Dragove runs into the thick forest. and Ryan was surprised by seeing his father in Bamboo Coast.
"Father, what are you doing here!?" Ryan asks
" I'm am sad and on my way home. A very powerful trainer by the name Sylvia defeated me and took my position as Ultimate Champion.." Jared sadly says
Ryan, still confused, says "No way! You are the strongest trainer in the Averium Isles!"
Jared gets something from his pocket and said "Son, I got a gift for you. It's called a Feathatch.I caught it on my way here. I thought I should give it to you."
"Thanks dad!I will take care of it."
"Well I got to go. I must go and train. I am still not strong enough so see you later, son!" Jared says as he runs into the forest

Ryan, still startled by the news, continues down the path to Bamboo shore and he notices a girl with a Smosea And she looks sad."I never knew being a trainer would be this hard. *sigh* Smosea, now what will we do?"
"I will help you. I just bean too. So what's your name?" Ryan asked
"I'm Kris. I just began my journey from here in Bamboo Shore. I was on my way to Eagle Ponds when I saw a large explosion. I was going to look then I noticed a Lizaur took my food."Kris responded
"Well I will help you. I got some food left here.*gives some food* There. All better. Well I need to look for the boat to Swift Peninsula to get my first Ancient Gem. I got to go now." Ryan says Generously

Ryan leaves with Kris there, happy that somebody helped her.
Floatorm: "Float?"
"We're going to Swift Peninsula to the first Ancient Arena. We're going to ride a boat to there." Ryan explains.
Floatorm: "Floa floatorm float!"
A loud voice shouts behind them. "Ryan wait! I wan't to join you on your journey. I have much to learn and I've heard your father is the former champion Jared. So I want to learn more so please let me come with you." Kris said
"Fine. You will be my traveling companion now. Floatorm. See her? She's Kris and she'll be coming with us now." Ryan said
"Awww what a cute little Floatorm!" Kris slowly moves closer to Floatorm
*Floatorm blasts a powerful blast of water on Kris's face.*
*Ryan laughs*
Kris said "Hey! That wasn't funny!"
"The ship is leaving in a few minutes. All passengers get on board now!" The boat announcer called to the people.
--END OF CHAPTER--

[Nitz_X]

I don't even need to Read this, I will say what i have said to others.

You need paragraphs! This is not a play, it is a fanfiction.

Here is an excerpt from one i am doing now.

https://forum.monstermmorpg.com/Thread-F...on-Example

[SkyRock]

Fixed I suppose? I did what you did in the example so.. here.
Monsters still use dialogue style since it would sound weird like "Grrr" Dragove said.

[Nitz_X]

Ryan, still startled by the news, continues down the path to Bamboo shore and he notices a girl with a Smosea And she looks sad."I never knew being a trainer would be this hard." she sighed deeply. " Smosea, now what will we do?"
"I will help you. I just bean too. So what's your name?" Ryan Asked.
"I'm Kris. I just began my journey from here in Bamboo Shore. I was on my way to Eagle Ponds when I saw a large explosion. I was going to look then I noticed a Lizaur took my food."Kris responded.
"Well I will help you. I got some food left here.*gives some food* There. All better. Well I need to look for the boat to Swift Peninsula to get my first Ancient Gem. I got to go now." Ryan said Generously.


Try that.

[SkyRock]

Nobody even sees this

[Nitz_X]

Dont forgey to add a title. ALSO DID YOU PUT IT ON www.fanficton.net???

[orboknown]

nitz where would he post it there?does our site even have a category?