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Chuck norris jokes
Nitz_X Offline
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Post: #1
Chuck norris jokes
any jokes?
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
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(This post was last modified: 05-21-2011 10:55 AM by Nitz_X.)
05-21-2011 10:52 AM
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SparrowHawk Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Why make a thread? I can just spam the chat with the jokes r.r

I could make this whole page long in 1 post with jokes.
05-21-2011 10:57 AM
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Nitz_X Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Chuck norris jokes
*taps foot*
the roman collosuem was originaly made to find a warrior that could defeat chuck norris ( sadly all of them died )

300 defeated 10000 in combat. Chuck Norris defeated 10000 with the blink of an eye.
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
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(This post was last modified: 05-21-2011 11:01 AM by Nitz_X.)
05-21-2011 10:59 AM
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SparrowHawk Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris doesnt have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris looked at the sun and the sun went back down.

Ghost sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris can draw a perfect circle with a ruler.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using sign language.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, he stands there and dares the grass to grow.

Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen .. seconds.

Chuck Norris has a fist for a chin.

Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in 3 different languages.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
(This post was last modified: 05-21-2011 11:04 AM by SparrowHawk.)
05-21-2011 11:03 AM
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Nitz_X Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris Defeated the Nazi army by looking at them.
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
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05-21-2011 11:09 AM
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Username Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
The Great Flood was the result of Chuck Norris using the restroom for a #1.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris knows how many digits e has.
Chuck Norris knows the value of i.

Sorry, math nerd got in. XD
05-21-2011 11:14 AM
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Squall Xepher Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Chuck norris jokes
7 8 9 but chuck norris ate 7 ( i know that was stupid)
Just your not so typical Gunblade Master.
mnxenx001 is my hero. If you dont know who that is...

Look 'em up on DA or Furaffinity.
Heh you didnt hear it from me.
05-21-2011 11:16 AM
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SlayerX Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad he's never cried.

Chuck Norris doesn't swim, water just wants to be around him.

Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleed.

Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
The proud king of the X-Terminators...an epic team...

Kinda looking for an artist to make a banner, lolz
05-21-2011 12:31 PM
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Username Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Chuck norris jokes
When asked about the Big Bang, Chuck Norris replied, "A bad case of gas."
When playing Pokemon, if you name your rival Chuck Norris he will catch 'em all before you even start.
When playing Pokemon, naming yourself Chuck Norris enables a cheat code that gives you all 6 badges and Champion status as soon as you begin.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a control key on his computer because he's always in control.
05-22-2011 04:53 AM
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Squall Xepher Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Chuck norris jokes
don't you mean 8 badges gbos?

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none."

Chuck Norris once ate an entire stream of rice paper and shot out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
Just your not so typical Gunblade Master.
mnxenx001 is my hero. If you dont know who that is...

Look 'em up on DA or Furaffinity.
Heh you didnt hear it from me.
(This post was last modified: 05-22-2011 05:21 AM by Squall Xepher.)
05-22-2011 05:07 AM
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Username Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Chuck norris jokes
@Squall
Whatever. Tongue

Chuck Norris is watching you.
You can't follow Chuck Norris on Twitter--only he can follow you.
Googling Chuck Norris losing gets 0 results (actually not true, but then so is most of the list so whatever. XD).
You can't Google Chuck Norris because he searches for you, not the other way around.
05-22-2011 05:46 AM
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Goat Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
I am the stone that builder refused, I am the visual, the inspiration that made lady sing the blues

I'm the spark that makes your idea bright, The same spark that lights the dark, So that you can know your left from your right

I am the ballot in ya box, The bullet in ya gun, The inner glow that lets you know to call your brother son

The story that just begun, The promise of what's to come, And I'mma remain a soldier till the war is won
05-22-2011 10:19 AM
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Virus_zero Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Chuck norris jokes
The reason why chuck norris has a few dislikes on his youtube videos is because he round house kicked the LOVE IT button and it flipped upside down and it turned red from pain. - Nerd From School Big Grin
"Good enough should never be good enough!" - Virus_zero
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05-22-2011 04:42 PM
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GreyFox Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door, Chuck Norris does not sleep (he waits), Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee never fought because if they did the world would end.
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05-23-2011 12:59 AM
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Virus_zero Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Chuck norris jokes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y

LOL
"Good enough should never be good enough!" - Virus_zero
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05-23-2011 03:47 AM
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Riku_Ansem Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Chuck norris jokes
chuck norris once had intercourse in the back of a truck and spil;led his seed on the back seat.that truck is now optimus prime
This is orboknown on his alt.
05-25-2011 02:31 AM
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Username Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Chuck norris jokes
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris STILL roundhouse kicks you.
05-25-2011 11:20 AM
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Espada Away
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Post: #18
RE: Chuck norris jokes
In Jamaica, Chuck Norris Says Whats Up Mon to you :3
"This World .... Shall Know Pain"
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05-25-2011 11:22 AM
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Goat Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Chuck norris jokes
(05-25-2011 11:20 AM)Username Wrote:  In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris STILL roundhouse kicks you.

Now THAT is a good one lol
I am the stone that builder refused, I am the visual, the inspiration that made lady sing the blues

I'm the spark that makes your idea bright, The same spark that lights the dark, So that you can know your left from your right

I am the ballot in ya box, The bullet in ya gun, The inner glow that lets you know to call your brother son

The story that just begun, The promise of what's to come, And I'mma remain a soldier till the war is won
05-25-2011 11:37 AM
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SkyRock Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Chuck norris jokes
If Chuck Norris played Monster MMORPG the chat would be dead.....forever
Chuck Norris broke wind and it caused the tornadoes that wiped out a lot of Kansas, Arkansas, and Miss.
Chuck Norris believes with a little hard work,trust and a well-delivered roundhouse kick will make you perfect
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05-25-2011 02:01 PM
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Username Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Cloning is illegal because of the possible implications of having more than 1 Chuck Norris in the world.
Chuck Norris is FIRIN HIS LAZAH BLAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
05-26-2011 10:41 AM
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SparrowHawk Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris looked at the sun and said No.

Chuck Norris looked at the sun and the sun went back down.

Chuck Norris told the sun to bring the moon back, it even brought the stars.
05-26-2011 10:53 AM
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stillarmando Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Chuck norris jokes
>>The reason why the Soviet didn't attack the United States during the Cold War because there is Chuck Norris in there

>>Chuck Norris is not the actor, the whole world acting for him

>>At first the movie "Alien vs Predator" will be created "Alien & Predator vs Chuck Norris." But they realize there will be no one who would pay for tickets for the film lasted 14 seconds.

>>Chuck once bought a pickup truck, the truck now is known by the name "Optimus Prime"

>>The scientists believe that the energy expended during the Big Bang (The big bang of the universe occurs) is equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

>>After long debate and tough, American President at the time, Harry S. Truman chose to drop the atomic bomb to Hiroshima and Nagasaki instead of sending Chuck Norris to go there. The reason? Dropping the atomic bomb apparently far more humane than sending Chuck

>>Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

>>A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris shoes. Chuck then yelled, "Do not you know who I am? I, the great Chuck Norris!" Miraculously, after hearing the name "Chuck Norris", the man suddenly no longer blind. Unfortunately, the first and the last thing he saw was a fatal Roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.

>>you know Red Bull? Red Bull is the sort of bottled drink that is made directly from the urine of Chuck Norris and making anyone who drank it to be strong although not as strong as Chuck.
(This post was last modified: 05-31-2011 07:11 PM by stillarmando.)
05-31-2011 06:53 PM
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ItsHowIRoll Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris. Enough said.
06-01-2011 02:47 AM
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JacoMadness
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Post: #25
RE: Chuck norris jokes
(05-21-2011 10:52 AM)Nitz_X Wrote:  any jokes?

Chuck Norris can drown a fish


Chuck Norris and Trololo man are penpals

Chuck Norris plays battleship with the US. Navy

Chuck Norris still hasn't found Waldo

Chuck Norris fights stains with the power of tide.

Chuck Norris wasn't born, he was forged.

I have a whole book....
06-01-2011 07:13 AM
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Bulletrier Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Chuck norris jokes
→If Chuck Norris jumps from a plane, then the plane falls down.
→Chuck Norris used his roundhouse kick on earth and it is still doing rotation and revolution.
→Chuck Norris once did batting in baseball and cricket and the result was craters formed on the moon by the ball.
→All the deserts on the earth were full of water until Chuck Norris became thirsty.
→Chuck Norris ate a blackhole once.
→Volcano is Chuck Norris's hot water tub
→House takes shelter from Chuck Norris
→Chuck Norris can burn fire from water.
→Chuck Norris can do group discussion alone.
→Chuck Norris is hotter then the sun.
→Chuck Norris found corners in a circle.
→Chuck Norris can make 100 words.... from just one alphabet.
→Chuck Norris read this post so it became boring.
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06-01-2011 10:22 AM
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Username Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris was born in a cabin he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
06-02-2011 11:10 AM
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orboknown Away
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Post: #28
RE: Chuck norris jokes
(06-02-2011 11:10 AM)Username Wrote:  Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

XD lol
Quote: Do you hear the Whisper Men The Whisper Men are near
If you hear the Whisper Men then turn away your ears
Do not hear the Whisper Men whatever else you do
For once you've heard the Whisper Men they'll stop. And look at you.
06-02-2011 11:31 PM
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Bulletrier Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Chuck norris jokes
This is EPIC Big Grin



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06-04-2011 09:28 AM
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AnthraX Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Chuck norris jokes
chuck norris baths in the bermuda traingle
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06-05-2011 09:51 AM
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