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While Flolz and Larvitle figure out who took there groceries the sun starts to go down."Larvitle its almost sunset we better get going."
"No, I spent $30 monster dollars for those groceries and i am not letting $30 dollars go waste!"
Night time came.."Hehe.....""What was that noise Flolz?!""Me yawning i am tired, Lets go home? Smile?"
Larvitle ignores Flolz moaning and groaning and searches the track of that mysterious noise.... "Heeeehheeeehehe"."The noise is getting bigger and deeper Larvitle.... we better get going!"
No Flolz i am not leaving!""Ok then ill leave you here then!""Fine! leave me here i don't care! ill find the groceries myself!!!!"

While Larvitle continues the search for his groceries he hears someone screaming..
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" "Whose that? Well i better go see whats happening over there....
Once more Larvitle hears a scream.... "AHHHHHHHH." "Sounds like Flolz screaming... what is happening now..." "Lar....vitle... is..that...you?.. don't go....any...further...." "Hmph!" Larvitle ignores Flolz and continues on to see what was happening.. "COME OUT I WILL DEFEAT YOU FOR HURTING MY BROTHER!!!" "Hehee.... Very mean of you telling someone to come out not saying please...hehe.
"Bav..Bav..." Names Bavante get it right! "Bavante.... u stole our groceries!!! give it back!!!" "Ok ill give it back come over here and i will give it to you . "Ok!" Larvitle slowly walks over to Bavante.. "evil eye!!!" "HYPER FLAME!" The two kept fighting till they were out of breath.... Both were very badly bruised....but..."What....the..! Larvitle is evolving to horava!! Ha!! i am much powerful now! HYPER FLAME!" "Gaaaah!!!!" Bavante runs and leaves the bag of groceries behind...



"Flolz Flolz can you hear me?? FLOLZ!" "Urrrgh WHAT i was sleeping.... man i am very badly bruised by that shadow arm.... "YOU EVOLVED!!!!" Lucky...... "Yah i am a big bad Horava now! i am more powerful! Horava and Flolz Went back to there homes


To be continued...

(2011-08-05, 02:33 AM)metaknight Wrote: [ -> ]Ha!! i am much powerfuller now!

Lol

Edited was in a rush since i had to go do something

Im going to update the Fanfiction rules soon. I ask that everyone take a look at them.

Nitz what i do wrong this time i followed your advice making it a paragraph quotes etc

While Flolz and Larvitle figure out who took there groceries the sun starts to go down."Larvitle its almost sunset we better get going."

"No, I spend $30 monster dollars for those groceries and i am not letting $30 dollars go waste!"
Night time came..
"Hehe....."
"What was that noise Flolz?!"
"Me yawning i am tired, Lets go home? Smile?"
Larvitle ignores Flolz moaning and groaning and searches the track of that mysterious noise.... "Heeeehheeeehehe".
"The noise is getting bigger and deeper Larvitle.... we better get going!"
No Flolz i am not leaving!"
"Ok then ill leave you here then!"
"Fine! leave me here i don't care! ill find the groceries myself!!!!"

Edited i will give you a rep point for helping (gave to many reputations today

No problem, I have a fanfiction help thread lol.

If you want something proofread, I will be happy to look it over and give it the Full Nitz X treatment.

I am not the best person when it comes to grammar T_T cant wait! and flolz is going to evolve soon to but they wont be both at there final evolution and theres going to be another person who joins horava and flolz stay tuned for the next chapter which is tommorow

Well instead of monster money it should be The k like 30k exc.

No i dont think they will say 30k in most stories,shows

just say gold @.@

DISLIKE DUE TO TITLE~

(2011-08-05, 03:08 AM)metaknight Wrote: [ -> ]I am not the best person when it comes to grammar T_T cant wait! and flolz is going to evolve soon to but they wont be both at there final evolution and theres going to be another person who joins horava and flolz stay tuned for the next chapter which is tommorow

As a writer, you must learn Grammar. When you write for you, I don't care, but if you Publish it, you need to check it. That's just how it is. I won't be nice here. I am the "Mean Pony"