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The Monsters: Feedback Thread
Any relevant feedback, criticism, compliments, questions, and stuff like that should be posted here.

1) Don't stray off-topic (The Monsters is the topic).
2) I am not really open to story/plot suggestions whatsoever, but I am open to story/writing feedback, writing suggestions, etc.
3) Keep the forum rules in mind.

Latest TM Chapter:
Chapter One: Consciousness
[Image: GgcM.png]
Double poster...
CeFurkan Wrote:
@Nitz_X u really should leave this game
[Image: kSLYA.png]
(2011-12-02, 04:01 AM)Nitz_X Wrote: Double poster...

Oh stop being a critic, Nitz. It's a nice way of keeping stories organized in my opinion. :\

Anyways, I have yet to read through the story myself, but I will when I have the time to tomorrow. :>
At least say something useful in your post for once nitz, srsly.
Anywho, I like it raith :'D very descriptive. Can't wait for the next chapter :'D
I like it. Excited to see where the story goes.
"If you don't like your destiny, don't accept it. Instead, have the courage to change it the way you want it to be"
(2011-12-02, 04:01 AM)Nitz_X Wrote: Double poster...

Not just that, I will post in that same thread instead of doing that junk where everyone clutters up the thread list with individual chapters! That said, I'm glad that you're aware of the rules. However, as someone who's been staff already, you should be aware that the central purpose of the rule in question,

CeFurkan Wrote:5- Do not double post , triple post...

is to prevent spam. Spam does not matter in a thread that I don't want anyone to post in. "Why?" Because it's my thread, and nobody else will post in it; it's more neat and organized that way. A thread owner is entitled to that thread and everything that goes on in it. Just because my name is pink doesn't mean you aren't allowed to do something similar to achieve the same effect I did... and that isn't a blank statement. I give my word as a staff member that I will personally fight tooth and nail to defend your position against any mod, super mod, or Furkan himself if you break up posts (but only with the intention being) to keep aesthetics clean in a serious thread.

Anyway, "What's the point Raith?" My point is: Sure, anyone can see the rule and regurgitate it and enforce it like some droning derp, but what's even more important is to see beneath the restriction and comprehend why it was made a rule in the first place; what was it trying to accomplish? Now you know the reason that rule exists, and what is within your power as a thread owner.

- - -

So back on topic!

Thanks guys for the feedback and compliments so far. I'd especially love for someone to step up and tackle my writing; don't let the writing intimidate you... finding and understanding writing mistakes that I post will help better yourself, too. I made this thread to find criticism and improve myself; "Oh that's nice" and "Oh... that's awful" are general indicators, but it's much deeper than that.

There's grammar, style, mood, tone, characters, plot, presentation, aesthetics, rhythm, fluidity, and those sorts of things.

I understand that it's early and it's only been the first chapter, but I will be hoping for this and looking forward to it later on.
[Image: GgcM.png]
Lessee here...

I like the POV you've taken here actually, since it lends a bit of mystery and atmosphere to the story at this point. The fact that you don't exactly introduce your character yet makes it all the more interesting, especially since you plunked him in an odd situation like that. Another thing I quite liked was the writing itself. It was pretty descriptive, but not too much as to distract from the actual story. You described the situation in the first chapter so well, that I could actually imagine myself in that situation. I'm not sure what else to critique, since there's not a lot to it, so I might as well wait for the next chapter. ^^

So, yes, basically, I like the story, and I'm waiting to see where it's going to go next, because it's certainly that interesting. Keep on writing~
Chapter two is up.

Sorry about the briefness but I felt ending it with the fall would be appropriate. Call it a literal cliffhanger xD

+5 huge respect points to anyone who knows what map he's in during these two chapters. If you have to look up Sprickets to figure it out, you fail terribly!
[Image: GgcM.png]
(2011-12-02, 04:01 AM)Nitz_X Wrote: Double poster...
this is a perfect example of minimodding.please refrain form doing so in the future nitz. A few more and I will start handing out warnings.

Quote: Do you hear the Whisper Men The Whisper Men are near
If you hear the Whisper Men then turn away your ears
Do not hear the Whisper Men whatever else you do
For once you've heard the Whisper Men they'll stop. And look at you.

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