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Spirit Bonds - Please read/suggestions/feedback/ANYTHING
SkyRock Offline
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Exclamation Spirit Bonds - Please read/suggestions/feedback/ANYTHING
So... if you haven't found out, my "forever long" book, Biohazard, is done :3 Yes, but that isn't the end of it all. There's a "next generation" sequel coming after it, and it's called Spirit Bonds.

*Those colored words are links :3

Here's the Prologue for Spirit Bonds, hope you like it :3
________________________________________________________________________________​_______________________________________________

In a large castle, standing tall on a hill, there was a little girl, sneaking around. She skips along the corridors, sneaking past the butlers. She enters the stockroom and pulled out a stool from under the table. She wipes off the sweat from her dark hazel hair and pulls down her shirt. She stands on the stool and reaches into the dusty shelf. She pats to the left, pats to the right, until she found what she was looking for: a carton of milk. She pulls it out and fixes her braids. She jumps off the stool and knocks it down, causing a lot of noise. The butlers notice it and they see the little girl, running off to the garden.

"Stop right there!" the butler shouted. He runs after the girl, who chuckled as she ran. She makes it outside, where she sneaks past the guards. As usual, they were sleeping at the job. She runs to the courtyard and saw the little dog, still waiting for her.

"Alright, boy... here's some milk for you," the girl said. The little, white dog licks on the milk, poured out on the ground. The girl smiled and watched the little dog, obviously enjoying the drink. Soon enough, she was caught by the butler.

"Miss Cindy, you know that your safety is my responsibility. You cannot wander outside the castle at a time like this! The Apostles are out there!" the butler said as he fixes his long, white moustache. The girl laughs at him and pats the dog.

"Albert! I can handle myself. I'm not like one of those harmless and timid girls at school!" she replied as she raised her tone. The dog wags its tail and sticks its tongue out. "I mean, look at this dog. It was wandering in the streets. I had to take care of it."

"I'll talk to Saber about the dog. You better get back inside. You really need to eat your lunch now," Albert replied as he carried the dog. "What should we name him?" Cindy asked. Albert looks at her and stares at Cindy, who was really eager to own the dog. She fixes her hair again and wiped off some dust from her shirt.

"It's up to you," Albert said as he walked away with the dog. Cindy smiled and walked back into the castle. The daylight shines bright on the sunny day. The clouds were covering the sun, but the light it gave still manages to pass through. Cindy makes her way into the dining room, where a big feast was prepared. There was nobody on the table, except her alone.

"Why can't mom and dad ever come home together?" Cindy mumbled to herself. She sighed and rested her elbow on the table and poked the food with her fork. She chews on the vegetables and pouted. "It'll be much better if we were all here, as a family..."

Suddenly, someone pats her on the back and walked to a chair. He sat down and began to get his food. "Hey, dad, why is mommy always leaving?" Cindy asked. Saber smiled softly and took a bite. "Mommy's a traveller. She likes to find new places. Don't worry, she will come back soon, I already told you that," Saber said as he pats Cindy's hair. Cindy frowns and fixes her hair back.

"Dad! I told you already, don't mess the hairdo!" Cindy said with a loud tone. Saber laughs at her and continues eating. Still sad, Cindy eats slowly and was left alone as soon as Saber finished. Cindy pouts and finished hers, after nearly half an hour. She walks back to her room, where she opens up her diary.

"Dear Diary, Mommy's still not home... Dad said that she'd be coming home soon... but, when exactly? I miss her already..." she said as she wrote it down. She paddles her feet in the air and said, "I'm eight... but I haven't spent a full year with mom..." She closes the book and cuddles a pillow. "If there was only a way that I could move to Dairu... and follow her."

Suddenly, a large rumble began to occur from below. She peeks out the window and saw the source. It was the dreaded Shaucrus Apostles, charging towards the castle on their dark chariots. Right after that, the door to her room get slammed open by her dad, posing a very worried look on his face. Saber grips onto the doorknob with such a great force, like he was angered.

"Come now! We have to get out!" Saber shouted. Puzzled, Cindy follows and they went downstairs, running as fast as they could. Cindy nearly trips in the speed and her hair keeps covering her face. She fixes it and finds a clear view of their location, right by the courtyard. They get confronted by multiple dark magicians, all with odd faces.

"Harriah's Descendant... We've been waiting for long enough. It's time to claim our target," an old man said, who apparently was the leader. The man had a long, wicked hairstyle, colored in a mystical shade of red. He has a goatee on his chin, with a color slightly darker than his hair. Saber frowns and shielded Cindy from the man.

"Give it up, Rison! You will never get her from us! Not without fighting me!" Saber shouted. Cindy looked completely puzzled and cuddled to her dad. The wicked man laughs and dark magic began to surge from his hands. Saber's signature blades come out and Albert comes into the room.

"Come with me!" Albert shouted as he pulled Cindy away. The dark magicians tried to block them but Saber's quick reflexes took them down. Cindy screams as the magicians burst into flames. Saber and Rison began to prepare for a big match while Albert brings Cindy to a secret route, leading to a split path outside the castle.

The dog was in a carriage, alongside a former Biohazard member. "Get on! We have not much time!" Logan shouted from the carriage. Cindy came on board while Albert guarded the carriage. Saber flies out of the castle and rushed to the carriage. "Move faster! They can arrive at any time!" Albert shouted. Saber gets on and the carriage began to move. Suddenly, two dark chariots came from the split path and Rison emerges from the castle, still in pursuit of Cindy.

"Go! Move fast!" Saber shouted. The carriage driver began to accelerate but the chariots were still on their tail. Saber growled and fired his magic pulses at them. They dodge it, dealing no effect to the distance. Logan and Albert get impatient and suddenly, just as the chariots were getting left behind, Logan said, "We're not going to lose them like this... We have to go offensive..." Saber gets shocked and said, "No! Don't do this! We can get out of this without having to sacrifice!" Logan and Albert jumped off and Saber shouted.

"No!" Saber shouted. Cindy just kept crying in the carriage when suddenly, Saber also jumped off. Cindy's wails grew louder but she could not change the events. Saber has been left behind and the carriage gets far. Cindy tries to reach out for her dad, but her attempts are useless. She was helpless and she was brought farther away, away from home.

"Saber! Why did you follow!?" Logan shouted. Saber grins and put on his mask. "Let's show them how Biohazard used to do it!" Saber shotued. Albert smiled and said, "I may not be a member of the crew, but I will help in the best way I can!" The chariots speed up but Logan blocks the path with stones by simply punching the ground. Rison flies above the barricade and began to attack. Albert uses his psychic abilities to throw stones and logs at Rison, which came from the forest. Logan continues blocking the chariots while Saber took lead in the duel with Rison.

Saber and Rison are evenly matched, simply because Rison has blessings from a true god, Shaucrus. Logan struggles stopping the brute force exerted by the chariots and soon enough, the barricade breaks and Logan gets pushed back. Albert fights the chariots back but the out from the chariots came out soldiers with weapons. They were extremely outnumbered and they had nothing left to do but to surrender. Albert gets angered and said, "You will never get Cindy!" Rison laughed and wrapped Albert with his dark magic. Albert was squeezed extremely hard, until he ran out of breath and fell down, lifeless. Saber frowns and stared into Rison's menacing eyes, filled with evil.


________________________________________________________________________________​______________
That's it; what do you think?
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(This post was last modified: 12-28-2012 10:40 AM by SkyRock.)
12-27-2012 03:51 PM
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Ripple (04-29-2014)
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RE: Spirit Bonds - Please read/suggestions/feedback/ANYTHING
Really like it, it looks I will have to go through biohazard to know more :3
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Be Blinded By My Prowess
12-27-2012 09:11 PM
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Viperianw Offline
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RE: Spirit Bonds - Please read/suggestions/feedback/ANYTHING
um..the first paragraph..it says "a lot causing noise.' what does that mean?
also, traveler has 1 l, not 2.
not bad.
12-28-2012 01:44 AM
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SkyRock Offline
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RE: Spirit Bonds - Please read/suggestions/feedback/ANYTHING
Traveller has two L's if you follow the British English format, which I mix in my works :3
Fixed the word jumble. Thanks for reporting.
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12-28-2012 10:40 AM
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SkyRock Offline
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Spirit Bonds - Chapter Two + Help from an artist
I am bumping the dead forum... Hey guys, I'm at Chapter Two already.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/3427285-spirit-bonds


To anyone who can draw good manga-style and can color it in a program (preferably GIMP/Sai/Photoshop), PM me... I dunno what to pay for this commission, though.
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12-30-2012 12:03 AM
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Ripple (04-29-2014)
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