(12-02-2012 02:52 AM)Henrie Wrote: Story was copy-pasted from my art thread, where 95% of the writing is composed at 3 in the morning after staring at fur tufts for hours. I do not excuse silly writing, but in a few words I will very happily say : write a better one yourself. c: I was grabbing for a basic example, and if something's remotely funny, it's the thing I grab for. Note: I lead with a dodo.
XD Not angry at any of you, my writing would be AWFUL if it actually went in the game. Absolutely so. I accept this as one of my major creative weaknesses. Ya'll write better than I do. And that's why this is here. So I don't muck up the game with the things I've written. *nodnod* (Like I would seriously input alien scarves unless I was backed into a corner. XD )
THAT ALL ASIDE. Pfft. Monster Organization? Like the group breeding monsters for everyone with an e-mail address? If you wanna expand on that, it sounds solid. c: Maybe mention them in the description of a few more starters. (Although it brings up the no breeding loophole. Reproduction in general seems to do that, lol)
Ohohoho, dodos are good to lead with. I understand creative weaknesses; I can't draw digitally to save my life.
Still, you're not a terrible
writer; I've seen your descriptions for Nytinel and Nytenos, and they were pretty good, if I do say so myself.
When I put in the Monster Organization, I was thinking about a large, quasi-governmental body that hands out starters and runs the Monster Centers, as well as accepting donations in exchange for Organization-bred monsters and steroid-like injections that max out UVs. And who else would be the president of the Organization other than CeFurkan himself? *evil laugh* I essentially tried to turn the game administration into an in-universe concept. Shoot meh.
Species: Beach Drake
Dracby can be seen on the rocky coasts of volcanic islands, hunting crabs and playing in the ocean spray. Due to their lack of interaction with humans in their natural habitat, they are fearless and inquisitive and will often walk right up to a person. Dracby are still young creatures, making them vulnerable to predators. To defend themselves, they use their strong bite and the strange crystal blades on their cheeks, which harbor an energy that can cause very minor radiation poisoning. Once a predator is incapacitated in some way, the Dracby will bound away over the rocks. They are a very recent addition to the Monster Organization's lineup of starters.
Species: Marine Iguana
Seagon have a very high metabolism, and they require large quantities of nutrition to survive. As a result, they have migrated into the waters just off their island homes so they can hunt schools of fish. They band together in groups of three to six and swim rapidly through the water, steering with their dorsal and arm fins. They have grown another pair of cheek blades, which they use to slice the fins off their prey to immobilize them. They are still curious of humans; some sailors report having Seagon jump into their boats to investigate.
Species: Terror of the Sea
If anything deserves the title "Terror of the Sea," it is most certainly Bermudrac. These powerful beasts live in huge clans under the ocean, now able to breathe the water they have lived in for so long. They establish their territory in a part of the sea enclosed by a triangle of three islands and guard it viciously. Whenever an unwanted visitor arrives, the entire clan will swim in a circle to create whirlpool action. A single Bermudrac may pop its head above the waves to survey its watery domain, and if it sees a human ship, you can guarantee it will climb aboard. Most of the time, it's just innocent curiosity, but the humans' reaction to its frightening appearance can make it feel threatened, and it will strike back. This prompts the entire clan to join in and sink the boat. The radiation from one clan of Bermudrac is strong enough to disrupt navigational equipment, crash some airplanes, and cause unusual weather patterns in their territory.
In other words, the strange anomalies in the Bermuda Triangle are caused by a clan of Bermudrac that we just haven't found yet. (Just kidding)
AGH. SUCH A LONG POOOOST