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Biohazard: Comments thread
SkyRock Offline
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Post: #1
Biohazard: Comments thread
Biohazard was a concept I made when I was eight or nine... it started with a dream... a robot with blades, running after a car with a bomb. Yes, it did start like that. Kids have those action fantasies running in their minds. In those days, the trends in our school was to draw on a notebook. Just keep drawing people... so many people. He was one of my first drawings on my second book, he was a 100% robotic, with no signs of human at all. Then, I came up with the idea of Dr. Drozone, two-faced professor with wills to take over the world. They were the only important characters, until I thought about it more.


From there on, I came up with the title. Biohazard. It was a group of people, fighting evil (instead of Trivoid they were facing DMOUR. Back then, the concept was that Trivoid is GOOD) and protecting the world (setting was Earth back then). Axel, Logan and Torch (formerly named Ryota, name owed to anime character)... then came a male with a crossbow (soon made female, then became bow.) who became Blue in the end. More and more concepts grew... until I decided to write down the story on a sheet of paper. Some people saw it, but it wasn't really any good. Anyway... they encouraged me to continue, and then it began... everything began conceptualizing. I just took characters from the drawings, changed them a bit... then the story was created.


Anyway, some statistics on Biohazard, the total word count, and average word count (on chapter 63; rounded down) is...
130,845 and 2076, respectively.


Anyways, leave a comment about it... the plot... the people... anything? The format was bad, I know that...  but.... too late to change :/
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(This post was last modified: 01-06-2013 04:07 PM by SkyRock.)
03-23-2012 07:49 PM
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RE: Biohazard Comment Thread
Sylux drawing (Not done but meh)
[Image: Sylux.png]
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03-27-2012 12:32 AM
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orboknown Away
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RE: Biohazard Comment Thread
i guess i should finally read that story then.
Quote: Do you hear the Whisper Men The Whisper Men are near
If you hear the Whisper Men then turn away your ears
Do not hear the Whisper Men whatever else you do
For once you've heard the Whisper Men they'll stop. And look at you.
03-27-2012 12:34 AM
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Post: #4
RE: Biohazard Comment Thread
(03-27-2012 12:32 AM)Rock127 Wrote:  Sylux drawing (Not done but meh)
[Image: Sylux.png]
lol haha. the hand looks like ezreal's hand XD

Big Grin

but its cool lol -awkward heart sign comes out- Heart
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04-16-2012 10:28 PM
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SkyRock Offline
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RE: Biohazard: The Other Thread
A small drawing I made of Saber and Keith:
[Image: saber_and_keith_by_dormantsweater-d594ysd.jpg]


Keith's quite tiny...
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07-29-2012 10:52 PM
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RE: Biohazard: The Other Thread
PURE AWESOMENESS!!!
08-07-2012 10:09 PM
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SkyRock Offline
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RE: Biohazard: The Other Thread
So, I've been starting to wonder why I keep making these here... where I have a small pool of readers... but I enjoy my time typing these chapters. OP edited with some things... and/or spoilers! (You've been warned)
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08-26-2012 10:32 PM
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SkyRock Offline
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RE: Biohazard: Comments thread
Renamed thread and updated count.
I'm posting a very special chapter in my Wattpad account which has.... 7k words. It doesn't really have a big impact to the storyline, but the second one (special chapter 2) might Big Grin
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10-14-2012 02:03 PM
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SkyRock Offline
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Biohazard: The Fate of The Book revealed - Book 3
Not to spoil anything, but I thought it out throughout the week and deduced a final outcome: There will be a third book to Biohazard. It will occur in the future, so the main characters will switch and new people are introduced.
I already have most of the plot, but I will spoil no more until Biohazard book 2 is finished.
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10-30-2012 11:22 PM
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SkyRock Offline
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Biohazard - The Trilogy; third book's title revealed
Hello there, I came up with the title for the third book, it is entitled "Spirit Bonds", and Biohazard is now just a subtitle. It's like: Biohazard: Spirit Bonds now, since it runs on the BH timeline, but it doesn't focus on the team of Biohazard itself anymore. It focuses on a new set of characters.


MASSIVE spoilers ahead, so be careful!
.
.

.

.

.

.

.



.


.

.








Main Characters:
Cindy Aces - Saber and Rylee's daughter; she embarks on a quest for the nine spirit shrines with her assigned partner, Lars Bridgewater.
Lars Bridgewater - a wandering warrior who stumbled across the initiation festival, accidentally putting himself as Cindy's partner.

Basically, they will visit the nine Spirit Shrines scattered all across _________ (choosing a name from my list) to place their pendant on it. When the shrines activate, the pendant is blessed with a new power. When all of the nine shrines are activated, the pendant must be brought to the Spirit Temple, an ancient structure built by the ancient civilizations. It hold the last blessing, a tenth and final "bonding" blessing that will eternally make the duo friends and they become officially adults and responsible for themselves.
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11-18-2012 11:51 PM
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Post: #11
RE: Biohazard: Comments thread
spirit bond >_> reminds me of..

--err bloom isn't from zyra?
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(This post was last modified: 11-19-2012 12:02 AM by fjkulit.)
11-19-2012 12:01 AM
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SkyRock Offline
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RE: Biohazard: Comments thread
Nope, I made Bloom weeks before Zyra was revealed :/
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11-22-2012 12:03 PM
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SkyRock Offline
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RE: Biohazard: Comments thread
(11-19-2012 12:01 AM)fjkulit Wrote:  spirit bond >_> reminds me of..

Of who?
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01-17-2013 06:55 PM
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RE: Biohazard: Comments thread
I read the first chapter of Biohazard, and I must say, it's a pretty cool concept. However, I didn't really get a good feel of what the characters looked like as I read. Sure, I could always look back at your drawings, but that's not what I want to do while reading a story. If there is description in there, it really may have just been me being lazy and not noticing it, which brings me to my next point. There needs to be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks, and all narration need to be in the same tense. I noticed that you used past tense when people are speaking and present tense for everything else. I don't really like reading in the present tense, but nothing irks me more than using multiple tenses. The problem likely arose because you may have been so eager to get the story written (as I am with my works) that you didn't want to pay attention to detail because it would slow you down. Now that it is written, you can go back and easily fix the mistakes. That is, if you're not too busy writing Spirit Bonds. Smile
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02-17-2013 01:04 AM
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SkyRock Offline
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RE: Biohazard: Comments thread
(02-17-2013 01:04 AM)TexasToast Wrote:  I read the first chapter of Biohazard, and I must say, it's a pretty cool concept. However, I didn't really get a good feel of what the characters looked like as I read. Sure, I could always look back at your drawings, but that's not what I want to do while reading a story. If there is description in there, it really may have just been me being lazy and not noticing it, which brings me to my next point. There needs to be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks, and all narration need to be in the same tense. I noticed that you used past tense when people are speaking and present tense for everything else. I don't really like reading in the present tense, but nothing irks me more than using multiple tenses. The problem likely arose because you may have been so eager to get the story written (as I am with my works) that you didn't want to pay attention to detail because it would slow you down. Now that it is written, you can go back and easily fix the mistakes. That is, if you're not too busy writing Spirit Bonds. Smile

Yo... thanks for bumping this; I forgot to mention the "probably most important thing regarding Biohazard"... and coincidentally, you brought the topic up.

Paragraph format. I started off not writing it that format because I started BH from a hand-written story with no importance; just a past-time. I continuously wrote this without pause (317 days for the entire book phew) and without giving notice to the tenses, the lack of detail in everything... until chapter mid 40's when I started to read other's works and really getting to like the paragraphs format. It was too late to change it, though. 40+ chapters and I suddenly shift format for less than 20 chapters... nah. Now Spirit Bonds has "pretty" good reception with this new format; and thus... here's the big plan:

Biohazard done -> Spirit Bonds worked on until end (31 chapters more or less; ahaha there's a sequel!) -> The Dark Moon to be continued bit by bit (make sure to check this out) -> Biohazard's 317 days of writing to be thrown away and rewritten -> Afterdawn (Spirit Bonds sequel) -> Finish Dark Moon -> what's next?

So... anticipate, I guess?
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02-17-2013 01:24 AM
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RE: Biohazard: The 317 Days of Waste (Rewrite)
So; the rewriting began :3 It's going to be much better... MUCH better at that. If you read it originally, there will be more arcs including:
  • Shadow Empire becoming more formidable
  • Keith's curse given focus
  • Character development for Blue, Sylux, Euphoria, Bloom and Lyra (and others)
  • Fixing terrible chapters like most of the first arc (2-7 specifically)








Luckily all I have to do is to press enter repeatedly while giving more descriptions... Chapter One done:

Chapter One: Discovery

In a battlefield, bombs and missiles ravage the land; the plateaus and mountains crumble, and an army of robots and soldiers push forward towards a large camp. Standing tall in the center of the camp was a man. His comrades sit below him and he turns around and gazes at the destruction of the ongoing war.


“Sentinel! What are the commands?” a soldier asked while his face changed into a worried look, face covered in dirt from war.

Sentinel, the leader, stands tall on his stack of sandbags,eyes fixed on the approaching army. Sweat flows down his tanned skin as his black eyes scanned the number. His grey, neck-length hair spikes backward, and his gray goatee sway with the wind. His blue armor and gauntlets are worn and his grey pants and black boots are torn. His entire appearance looked like a veteran soldier. He takes out an earpiece and turns it on.

This war will continue. We will keep fighting until the end. Trivoid cannot continue their havoc,” he replied while he created a spectral knife from his gauntlet. He raised it up and the other members of the group do the same while they cheer “Hail Resistance”.

Sentinel walked over to a woman holding a child in her hands. The woman had long, brown hair and the child was wrapped in a blue blanket. Sentinel patted the boy’s head and smiled.
“You have to go now. It is too dangerous in this war,” Sentinel said as he holds her hand and hugged her and the child.

“We can’t leave you here; we’ll help you,” she replied as she tried to help, but she gets pulled back by Sentinel’s soldiers.
“Jade, this is for your own good.Saber and you need to be brought away immediately. It’s too dangerous,” Sentinel said as an evacuation pod opens.

“The pod is ready. Waiting for your commands, sir,” a soldier said as he typed in coordinates on a console.
“I love you,” Jade said as she walked backwards with Saber to the pod. Sentinel smiled and waved goodbye as the pod began to take off.

“Be careful...” Jade said as she looked down to the battlefield while her son is wrapped around her hands.


“Alright! This is Canria’s last stand  It isn't over yet!” Sentinel shouted as he now created a machinegun from his gauntlet. The other soldiers prepared their guns and the battle began.

Seventeen years later...

"Saber!" a girl's voice shouts. Saber hits a metal frame with a hammer, clouding the call.

"Saber! Are you awake yet!?" the girl shouted again. This time  he heard it and put down the hammer.


Saber peeked out the window and said, "Good morning, Blue!"Blue waved and climbed up the tree to get into Saber's room. She was wearing her same green clothes and her blue shorts. Her brown hair was tied into a ponytail and was swaying to the wind.


"What are you doing?" Blue asked. Saber sat back down and wiped his face with the sleeve of his grey t-shirt. He scratched his golden brown hair and smiled.

"It's... a mask. I never liked talking to random people... I never liked being social as well. So I made this. I want to keep my identity a bit low key. Besides, it looks cool!" Saber said. Blue laughed and watched Saber carve markings into the mask. 

"Blue? Are you there?" Jade said. 

"Yes, Mrs. Aces!" Blue replies. Blue runs downstairs to talk to Jade. She sees her, holding a book. Her bright yellow apron is covered in stains and her brown hair was let loose on her shoulders.


"Your mother told me to hand this over to you when you come by our house  It's a medical book about herbs and medicines. Your mother knew how much you liked these things," Jade said as she handed it over. 

"Thanks..." Blue said. A bell suddenly rang outside, startling Blue  It was the school bell, calling Blue’s attention.
"I have to go now, bye guys!" Blue shouted as she ran outside.Saber looked out the window and saw Blue running down the beige path towards the school.


"Saber, I'm going outside for a while to get some groceries, are you coming?" Jade yells. Saber goes downstairs and nodded, agreeing to join. They walk outside the house and take a look at their old home. The round roof of the blue house was cracking, their large front door was losing its color, and the tree beside the house is starting to bear fruit.

“This just brings back beautiful memories,” Jade said  Saber nodded and smiled. They then took off to the market, right by the seaside.

Jade chatted with some vendors and bought fresh fish and vegetables.Saber looked around and saw a small stall selling weaponry. 

"A knife... This might be useful..." Saber mumbles. He asks for the price of the dagger and buys it for a few gold coins. He sheathes it and walks to other stands, looking for other objects.

"Target acquired. Preparing for assassination," a rogue man said from atop the bell tower. His dark red hood covered his face and he had a long dagger, sheathed by his pocket. The man grabbed onto a ledge and slid down the tower. He reached the ground and looked straight ahead. His focus was fixed on Jade and evil was all around his aura.

"Saber! Time to return to home!" Jade shouted. She walked with some groceries while Saber held the other items. Jade walked innocently when suddenly, the assassin dashed to her and swiftly punched her. 

Panicking, Saber drops the items and rushes to help. The assassin kicked Saber away and he landed back first into the ground. The assassin stabbed Jade repeatedly and grinned as he lifted his hand one last time. Saber gets enraged and dashed to the assassin again. He got punched on the face and he got knocked down. 


"I don't know why you can care about this woman so much, kid. Leave me alone and let me finish my job!" the man shouted. The people all around town tried to stop him.
Police arrived. They began to shoot him, but their regular guns were useless  His aura was extremely intense that it deflected bullets.

More citizens tried to help but their attempts are all failures for their attacks missed. The man gets enraged and stabbed his knife on Jade one more time. 

Jade reaches for Saber and said, "Son... Your father..." Jade fails to complete the sentence for she already died.

 

Saber roars loudly and throws his knife in a blinding speed. The knife wounds the man and his face bleeds. The man laughs and fights again, this time punching Saber on the stomach. Saber kneels down in pain and cringes, curling up in pain.

"Your father gave Trivoid a hard time with our plans," The assassin draws his blade and adds, "now his legacy will end!" 

He stabs Saber on the back, placing Saber in intense pain. Saber growls in anger and a blazing red aura emerges all over him. His hair stands spikier and his posture changes into a much more beastly form. The wound vanishes without him noticing it and his eye changes color into red.

"What is this!?  Sentinel's son... he never had a power this intense " the man shouted. Saber snarled and a long blade emerged from both of his hands. He dashed and impaled the man with the two blades. The assassin was shocked and the pain began to build up.

The assassin spat blood on Saber's face and said, "Trivoid will prevail .." the man bled out and fell on the ground as Saber's hand blades withdrew themselves. 

Saber rushes to his mother and looks at her lifeless eyes. He kneels down in sorrow and lamented on her corpse.

“They will pay for what they've done!” Saber shouted, echoing across the seaside town. Flocks of birds flew out of the shore in shock of his voice. The aura vanished and the civilians came to comfort him.

Later that evening, he is left home alone; without his mother to cook for him. The body was brought to the morgue to be buried tomorrow. The groceries they bought were on the table, sitting uncooked. He remembered Jade and again wept softly. He went upstairs to his bedroom and closed the door.

He sits on his bed and tries to use his strange blade power once again.He fails and moans.


“What was that power?” he mumbled to himself as he grabbed the remote.

He turned on the TV and saw a commercial regarding a company. "Do you have a special skill that you don't know? Then come to DMOUR! We can help you with your skill, and maybe, you could put it into good use! We're at central Fallaway City, so go there!"

Saber switched it off and saw his reflection in the TV's screen. He noticed that his back doesn't even feel the pain from the wound anymore. He rushed to the mirror and was shocked when he saw that his wound healed completely. 

“What is this!?” he groaned to himself as he stared at the mirror.Suddenly, Blue entered through the window again and saw him, shirtless by the mirror.

“Hey there...” Blue said as she looked worried. “Did I come at a bad time?” 

“No... Not really,” Saber said as he took his shirt and wore it back on.He shook his head and breathed out.

“I’m sorry on the death of your mother, Saber. That attack was extremely sudden .. I just can’t imagine the pain you are going through. Both your parents are gone,” she said. Saber sat down on his bed again and sighed.

“It’s alright... I’ll find a way to see the cause behind her death... he mumbled the word Trivoid before he died... Do you have any idea?” Saber asked. Blue simply shook her head in reply.

“No, sorry,” she responded. Blue walked to the stairs and said, “Well...I gotta go now... see you tomorrow...” Saber lifts a hand and waved. Blue returned to her home and Saber was again left alone.

“Fallaway City... it’s not far from here,” he mumbles as he looks around  He thinks for a while and stands up to turn off the lights and lock the windows and doors. He returns to his bed and lies down, heading to sleep.

The next morning, he woke up early and got to his desk. He took his mask and gathered food from the fridge. He found a picture of him and his mother and closed his eyes. He placed all items neatly in a backpack and wore the mask.

“Fallaway City...” he mumbled as he opened the door. He headed outside and sniffed the fresh seaside breeze. The seas were yet again calm and quiet while seagulls flocked over it. He looked to the door and locked it, with the keys held in his hand.

“I’ll be back,” he said as he walked away. He walked towards the city exit and saw Blue, who was headed to his house. 

“Saber! Where are you going?” Blue asked. Saber waved goodbye as a response and left without a word. Blue looked at him, headed to the forest. She breathed in and scratched her hair as she said, “Be careful...”

 
Chapter End
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02-18-2013 10:07 PM
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SkyRock Offline
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Biohazard : 1K ; thanks to the readers!
February 23, 2013... Biohazard reached 1000 reads on wattpad.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!? "Achievement Get" Biohazard is on a slow rise, but one thousand views was something unexpected. I didn't expect much views until I made the rework, but support from lots of readers pushed it to 1000 reads... So to all who read Biohazard, thank you for helping us push this far. As Toast said earlier,
Quote:
  • However, I didn't really get a good feel of what the characters looked like as I read.
  • There needs to be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks, and all narration need to be in the same tense. 


I only knew about the error I was making around the fourth chapter of Spirit Bonds. But; since I have made it to chapter Eight of Spirit Bonds, I already have the experience with the new writing style. Rest assured, thou shall not be disappointed with the new format and style of writing Big Grin

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(This post was last modified: 02-24-2013 12:15 AM by SkyRock.)
02-24-2013 12:12 AM
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Post: #18
RE: Biohazard: Comments thread
Yo, Rock127! Have you thought about adding a character named 'Red' to the story? The chracter who falls in love with Blue, the archer?
10-29-2013 10:16 PM
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